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Thursday, April 8, 2010

Has anyone seen my "one"?

Tiger, Jesse, Charlie, John, Marc..........

I have cheaters overload.
I am in need of good male role models. Strong men with strong convictions who aren't easily seduced into making fools of themselves and their families.
I reach into the anals of my mind and there in the dusty corners are faint recollections of real men that I heard of that were made of this fabric. Is this man a rational reality? Could it be an urban myth? Am I without any real knowledge of the type of man that can make a wife proud? My answer is yes. When I sit and think about the married couples that I know there are only a handful that I can say are true companions. You know, the kind of couples that look at eachother from across a crowded room and know what the other is thinking. The couples who always call to say goodnight even if the day didn't go as well as they would have liked. You know, the two who always stick up for eachother even when they know they are wrong and then in private give it to 'em. Easy, comfortable and just right.
The biggest frame of reference that I have to go by is my own marriage of 15 years. Married once divorced once. Divorce was inevitable. I hate how I learned about all of the nasty things he did behind my back even after I found out about the ones that finally caused me to say, "I'm done". Who would have thought there could be more "crimes" against my trust. Ah, but there were. Its good that he can't do those things to me any longer. I am learning things about myself that I never knew. I like it. I like who I am. There are things about him that I refuse to "broadcast" but I'm so grateful for not having them in my life. Infidelity is not the end-all to a marriage-there are plenty of couples who get through it without a divorce. What is a deal breaker is when you take respect and dignity out of a relationship. It's the collapsing bimbos that will do ya in-it happens everytime. No woman scorned melodrama here just the truth. No hypocrisy, sloppiness, humiliation, endangerment to the emotional stability of children or destruction of the nurturing environment that advanced his career/greatness.
I know there are honest and good men I just haven't met one yet-you know my "Neo".....also commonly referred to as "the one". Must be weirder than science fiction. God, I hope not because I love that feeling. I love the feeling of being wrapped up in the arms of my love. My one.